I wear two rings on my left-hand because I need two reminders of the kind of love marriage requires.

One is my engagement ring. A pretty little thing, a modest diamond showcased by a cathedral cut. It stands for the oopey-goopey, love-dovey feelings I had for my husband when we were first falling in love. It represents all those late night phone calls and standing out in the freezing cold just because we weren’t ready to say goodbye. It’s an innocent ring, one that captured every girlish emotion imaginable. It reminds me of the stack of love letters tucked away in my top drawer. It looks like the dimple in his cheek and smells like his cologne.


The second ring I wear is my wedding band. And it’s made of much tougher stuff.

A row of diamonds stand guard over our union, ordered into place by the jeweler’s skilled hand. This ring means when the going gets tough, I’m not going anywhere. This ring makes impossible decisions for the good of our family. It is covered with dirt from the trenches. It signifies the kind of love that puts meat on your bones. It means I’m staying put, even when those oopey-goopey feelings are far away.


Take two sinners, box them in a home with four walls, and have life shake things up a bit. It’s bound to get messy. It’s bound to get chaotic and disoriented.

A bride purposefully walks down the aisle toward her husband on their wedding day, but what she may not realize is that she will take a thousand more purposeful steps afterward. Steps into the fray of bills and undone chores and crying babies and lost jobs and mortgages. Steps that will define her as a wife more than a white dress and veil ever could.

My wedding band whispers reminders of the promise I made to Ben on January 19th, “To share with you God’s plan for our lives together, united in Christ for His glory, and for the embodiment of His Gospel. I promise to live first for the Lord Jesus, seeking Him first, and then you, loving you and you alone through the love that He has first shown me.”

I cling to those whispers. I desperately need reminding of Christ and the Gospel and a love that never gives up in the middle of the mess.

And that’s why I wear two rings.

In addition to John Piper’s excellent book This Momentary Marriage, which you can download for free on DesiringGod.com, Ben and I enjoyed reading The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Tim & Kathy Keller during our engagement. We hope the words of these saints will be just as instructive to you as they were for us. (Aff. link, thanks for supporting the site!)


  1. Lauren on November 5, 2014 at 2:50 pm

    Victoria! Thanks for the reminder of why I wear two rings as well! And for the reminder to cling to “the gospel and the love that doesn’t give up in the mess.”

  2. LaRae on November 5, 2014 at 4:39 pm

    Someone once said to me “love don’t pay the bills” with a thick Kentucky accent and I have never forgotten. That statement came many years before marriage and I never truly understood until the trials of my current marriage. Injury, illness, disability, tempers, frustration, blame, loss of jobs, financial hardship, foreclosure, Chapter 13 are just a few of the obstacles we have encountered throughout our almost 8 years of marriage. Many times I have questioned God as to why we have been burdened with so much but today, Victoria, I am reminded of the significance of the 2 rings on my finger. God is with us always and has provided us with each other so as not to be alone through this often difficult journey. Thank you, dear friend, for your insight and wisdom.

  3. Catherine on November 6, 2014 at 4:37 pm

    Even being single, I love this post. Something to look forward and prepare for….if that day should ever happen.

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