I wear two rings on my left-hand because I need two reminders of the kind of love marriage requires.
One is my engagement ring. A pretty little thing, a modest diamond showcased by a cathedral cut. It stands for the oopey-goopey, love-dovey feelings I had for my husband when we were first falling in love. It represents all those late night phone calls and standing out in the freezing cold just because we weren’t ready to say goodbye. It’s an innocent ring, one that captured every girlish emotion imaginable. It reminds me of the stack of love letters tucked away in my top drawer. It looks like the dimple in his cheek and smells like his cologne.
The second ring I wear is my wedding band. And it’s made of much tougher stuff.
A row of diamonds stand guard over our union, ordered into place by the jeweler’s skilled hand. This ring means when the going gets tough, I’m not going anywhere. This ring makes impossible decisions for the good of our family. It is covered with dirt from the trenches. It signifies the kind of love that puts meat on your bones. It means I’m staying put, even when those oopey-goopey feelings are far away.
Take two sinners, box them in a home with four walls, and have life shake things up a bit. It’s bound to get messy. It’s bound to get chaotic and disoriented.
A bride purposefully walks down the aisle toward her husband on their wedding day, but what she may not realize is that she will take a thousand more purposeful steps afterward. Steps into the fray of bills and undone chores and crying babies and lost jobs and mortgages. Steps that will define her as a wife more than a white dress and veil ever could.
My wedding band whispers reminders of the promise I made to Ben on January 19th, “To share with you God’s plan for our lives together, united in Christ for His glory, and for the embodiment of His Gospel. I promise to live first for the Lord Jesus, seeking Him first, and then you, loving you and you alone through the love that He has first shown me.”
I cling to those whispers. I desperately need reminding of Christ and the Gospel and a love that never gives up in the middle of the mess.
And that’s why I wear two rings.
In addition to John Piper’s excellent book This Momentary Marriage, which you can download for free on DesiringGod.com, Ben and I enjoyed reading The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Tim & Kathy Keller during our engagement. We hope the words of these saints will be just as instructive to you as they were for us. (Aff. link, thanks for supporting the site!)