Waiting, for me, is like a wrestling match. Impulse and prudence are firing away at each other, fist to fist. Waiting isn’t a very calm process for me; I wish it was. My prayer is that with age I will become a little more mellow in waiting; at twenty-two, I feel a great deal of angst and restlessness.
There it is: Restlessness. We will only rest when we find rest in Jesus. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit after all, along with love, joy, peace, and the like (Galatians 5:22-23). Since these fruits are of the Spirit, it is only the Spirit who can cultivate. Also in Galatians, Paul reminds us, “And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” (5:24) My sinful flesh has been conquered by the atoning work of Christ. Our lives get so confusing when we dismiss that freedom and joy that has already been secured for us.
It suddenly occurred to me that my restlessness could be exactly why God has ordained for me to be in these “Hurry up and wait” situations. He pulls me close to Himself. If I am kept at the foot of the cross, my life is actually far better than if I got exactly what I wanted when I wanted it and diluted myself into thinking I didn’t need the Lord’s provision at all. Despite temptations that are whispered into my ear, being held tight by Christ is far better than anything I am waiting for.
Don’t think that I have arrived at some mystical, magical revelation to solve all my problems. I haven’t. But I have arrived at Jesus. My prayer is that you, like me, will land at the throne of grace. Whatever it takes to keep us at His feet is grace itself.
And so, I wait.
Patience, the art of waiting, has often been a theme of my blogs. Again I find myself woefully impatient.
Its not often that I don’t want to openly discuss what is near and dear to my heart. Ask anyone, I’m pretty much an open book. All I can say is what has gotten me thinking about patience this time is very personal, its sensitive. Certain, but fragile. If I whisper the name too loud, it will crash like a China vase.