My jaw dropped to the floor. I couldn’t believe I was pregnant.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not to someone who wasn’t ready. Not to someone who can’t cook a decent meal. Not to someone who already has problems keeping a clean laundry basket. Not to a newlywed, for goodness’ sake!
But it was happening.
It already happened.
I was pregnant.
Actually, I wasn’t even the first person to hear the news. Having dutifully taken the most nerve-wracking test of my life, I couldn’t even bear to see the grade. I asked my husband to do the honors.
“Honey, what am I looking for?”
“Pink lines,” I squeaked, “You’re looking for two pink lines.”
“I’m looking at two pink lines,” he said.
“Are they really pink, or kind of a faint pink?” I suppose I was hoping for some sort of curve.
“Babe, they’re pretty pink,” came the response.
I started shaking uncontrollably. Ben emerged from our tiny bathroom with a soft smile on his face. He was glowing. I was sobbing. He reached out his arms for me, and I folded myself against his chest. My lungs heaving and vision getting blurry.
“We’re going to have a baby, we’re going to have a baby.” We repeated that phrase over and over again, the truth hitting us in little waves every time it was uttered.
I’ve heard people talk about pregnancies being “unplanned” or “unexpected”. While I do use those words from time to time when explaining to others how I was married in January 2013 and will be cradling a newborn in January 2014, I know better. The Lord planned our pregnancy, it wasn’t unexpected to Him. Though I still experience sensations of fear and uncertainty, a little nudge from our daughter saying, “Hi mom, I’m here,” dispels them. Sensations of wonder, delight, anticipation, and praise quickly take their place.
We’re going to have a baby.
“My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.”