Being a Settled Rambler

I never thought I’d settle. Who does, right? Settling sounds awful. Like you just…gave up. You didn’t go on. You lost the fight. You know, you settled.

I never expected that I would end up calling my tiny college town home. Never expected that I would marry young. Never expected that I would become a mom so young. Never expected that so many of my dreams would be sacrificed in the process.

Over the past two years I have struggled with angst, restlessness, and downright dissatisfaction with my life. I’m tempted to think I was cheated out of something great. I want to travel. I want to move someplace new. I don’t want to be tied down. I want more. I. Want.

Pastor Matt Chandler of The Village Church in Texas recently said in a sermon, “All frustrations are birthed out of unmet expectation.”



All frustrations I’ve felt at being a surprisingly settled rambler have been birthed out of unmet expectation, to be sure.

By God’s grace, I’ve begun to see that settling doesn’t equal failing.

There are moments in life when the most courageous thing we can do is not to leave, but to stay. Not to seek out adventures in new places, but to seek out adventures where we are. To follow the advice printed on of my favorite keepsakes, “bloom where you are planted.”

To shake my fist at Almighty God and tell Him there’s been a mistake, that I’m supposed to be a rambler not a settler, is horribly wrong. Rather, I should walk in obedience and submission to God’s will. There could be a day coming in which He has prepared other plans for my life, but this day He has planned for me to be where I am. To be a young wife and mom, to live in my small town, to serve in my local church, and to make much of His name.

It may be settling down, but it is not a let down.

What about you? Have you ever struggled with feelings of settling too soon or in the wrong place? I’d love to hear your story.


  1. Camille Myers-Kouris on January 4, 2014 at 7:18 pm

    It’s so weird, “settle” always had two distinct meanings for me. I knew I would never settle for less than I deserved in husband, in friendships etc. I never wanted to accept less than what I believed I was owed.
    But to settle down was my absolute life goal. I wanted to find a town, man, and house I loved and stay there forever. It wasn’t something to avoid for me, it was what I aspired to!
    At the same time, I see where you’re coming from. But I’m glad to hear you’re seeing the good side that comes with settling because you are the furthest from a failure I could imagine with you soon-to-be-born little girl, clearly happy marriage, good job, and awesome writing ramblings! 🙂

  2. Catherine on January 4, 2014 at 7:29 pm

    I loved being settled. I shocked most of my teachers because I wanted to return home. One month in England was great…but I’m glad it ended. I love taking trips and I love returning home. I love my place in South-west Missouri.

    But now I’m not settled. I have no job, I’m taking care of my mother who is fighting cancer, I have no money, and have nothing but an uncertain future (not even so much as a plan). But being unsettled I have learned so many lessons that I needed to learn–one being not being so selfish and looking for ways to fulfill MY dreams.

    I know I’m right where God has called me to be…in an unsettled mess. And guess what, I’m not looking to be settled (though I secretly wish I was!) and I don’t have big plans. I just see one day at a time and I trust God that He hasn’t forgotten this unsettled mess.

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