A little soon, isn't it?

I’ve been troubled lately. When I’m troubled, I usually write. I have to tell you, this post has been difficult to write.

My husband and I made the announcement that I am expecting our first child about 6 weeks into my pregnancy. The overwhelming response I’ve gotten is something along the lines of, “It’s a little soon to be sharing that, isn’t it?”

That troubles me.

Of course I understand the source of their hushed concern. Pregnancy is a delicate matter. It’s 9 months of baited breath and unknowns. Sometimes the anxiousness is met with a happy resolution, and sometimes it isn’t.

row of baby books

Just yesterday, a fellow mommy-to-be and I were talking about how the worry of “too soon” is oddly applied to baby bumps. How can you share good news too soon? When you tell someone you’ve just bought a puppy, do they respond with, “O, gosh. I hope they don’t get run over by a truck. Puppies are prone to run in front of cars, you know.”

What is it about a pregnant woman’s news that we collectively draw a deep breath and try to prepare her for the worst? Maybe we, collectively, don’t know how to receive good news.

Yes, the awful thought of losing my baby before I get to count their fingers and toes has come to mind, but it hasn’t come to pass. We care so deeply about our children precisely because they are so precious; how can you hold a precious gift at arm’s length until it is safe to draw them nearer?

None of us know the span of our life, none of us. Only the Lord. I’m inviting you to live your life as it comes, and come alongside others as they live theirs. I invite you to not anticipate the worst before it happens and not explain away the best when it does.

I invite you to be present.

7 Comments

  1. Michelle on June 8, 2013 at 9:31 pm

    Well said Victoria! 🙂

  2. Bek on June 9, 2013 at 5:15 pm

    100% agree.

    I wonder if some people wait until later just to put off some of those comments? Maybe to privately savor the joy of being expectant parents? Maybe to tell the “important” people in person before announcing it to the general public?

    Never been preggo, so I don’t really know 😉 But I agree that fear should not be a reason for not telling.

    • Victoria on June 10, 2013 at 9:34 am

      Thanks for reading Beks! I totally think that’s a reason why people would want to keep their news a secret. I was writing more from the POV that we should respect and celebrate what women decide to share, whenever they decide to share! It is just odd to me that there is that pressure on expectant moms.

      I certainly wish we would have waited longer, just to stave off the comments, etc. just like you mentioned. Live and learn 🙂

  3. Lesley on June 17, 2013 at 10:06 am

    Because this is a life growing inside of the mother, I have always believed and practiced sharing the pregnancy – early on. No matter what happens to the life in the mother – joining Jesus while in the womb or being birthed and raised by the parents – this is a life and life is a precious gift, worth rejoicing. I have been pregnant 6 times that we are aware of – four resulted in the four children we have today ranging from 12 to 18 years old. Two of those – our first and 4th – are in heaven waiting to meet Mom, Dad and four siblings.

    • Victoria Wilson on June 17, 2013 at 5:47 pm

      Yes and Amen. Thank you so much for that heartfelt comment, Lesley. I had no idea you had little ones waiting you’re waiting to meet :,) As you said so beautifully, though, praise the Lord for LIFE! No matter how, from where, or how long life comes – praise God it COMES! And, not just life on Earth, but eternal life with Him.

    • Gabrielle on June 29, 2013 at 9:55 am

      I resonate with your response, Leslie. When my husband and I were pregnant with our first we decided to share even before we hit the 12 week mark because we thought we would rather have everyone rejoice with us and then come down and mourn with us if anything happened. (Fortunately, nothing did, though my heart hurts for friends that have had miscarriages). This is our policy because we want to be surrounded in community in the good times and the bad times…and what is such a good time as learning you are carrying life? What is more terrible than losing that precious life?

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