Pumping at 9am

Lately I’ve been wrestling with some pretty raw emotions, particularly over being a new mom back to work at her ‘9 to 5’.  This piece may be a bit edgier than normal for me, but I hope it will speak effectively to one of the many challenges ‘working moms’ face (more thoughts on how we use that phrase to come once they’ve marinated a bit longer.) Thanks for understanding, my fellow ramblers. 

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Wide-eyed circles, cradled in my arms, blankly gaze ahead. These should be adoring baby eyes, but they’re not. I juggle a hose, not baby toes, with my free hand. A mechanical whirring takes the place of her hungry grunts. Mother’s milk drips into anticipating bottles, reminding me that it isn’t a baby’s bottomless pit being filled.

It’s 9am and I’m pumping breastmilk for the first time today.

And it sucks.