Day 7) Write an open letter to anyone.
Dear Flirtatious Guys,
You’re just a friendly dude. I get it, I really do. You’re probably the friendliest friend around. Flashing those pearly whites accessorized by devastating dimples, who wouldn’t want to be your friend? Listen, I don’t want to cramp your style – but we need to talk.
It seems to me that you’ve made a habit out of confusing all the single ladies. Just yesterday, you gave that one girl a quick wink and arm squeeze, then slipped behind another at the crosswalk to tickle her sides. “O, stop it!” she giggled.
Yes, please stop it.
I hate to tell you this, but not every gal gets the joke.
You’ve left a string of heartbreaks in your wake. Not crushingly devastating ones, but breaks requiring a few bandages for sure.
Have you mopped up tears at 1am in a dorm room? Or bought pints of ice cream with the last of your pay check? You’re the reason we have those articles in Cosmo and Teen Vogue. You know, the ones with titles like “How To Tell If He Really Likes You” and “Flirting or Interested?”
Here’s an idea. Why don’t you just tell her that you’re interested? I’ll even give you a script.
“Hey, [NAME], since I’ve gotten to know you, I think you’re really unique. You’re unlike any woman I’ve ever met! You’re [ADJECTIVE], [ADJECTIVE], and [ADJECTIVE]. I love the way you [INSERT CHARACTER COMPLIMENT]. I really want to get to know you even more. Do you think we could see where this thing goes? [SMILE]”
See how wonderfully simple that was? Sure it will take work treating all women with an equal level of respect, and it will take work intentionally getting to know just one of those women if you think there’s a spark, but I promise the results will be worth it.
And don’t worry about us girls. We’ll be fine. I didn’t write this letter because the female gender needs your sympathy, I wrote this letter because we just need you to stop being silly.
Sincerely,
Mommy-to-Be of a Little Girl
[…] Day 7) Write an open letter to anyone. […]
I really like this! Your script is great 🙂
http://bekscontemplations.blogspot.com/2013/10/31-days-of-writing-day-six-open-letter.html
Haha, thanks Beks! If only one of these guys would actually USE it! 🙂
Yes.
Just yes.
Now to raise my little boy to understand this and be one of those men.
This is the saddest thing I have ever read.
Women have agency.
If a guy is flirting with you, you can get the answer you are “so cruelly denied” by asking the question: “are you interested in me?”
God forbid a conversation, or plans, for that matter, emerge from that exchange.
If the question you’re really asking is: why do men flirt with multiple women?
There are two answers.
They are A.) wanting to sleep with multiple women or B.) are fishing in the sea for engagement pursuant to what I describe above. You don’t have to be part of any polyamory (most men are actually looking for monogamy) but you will need to pull a B and engage the flirt-er lest you be ignored because you didn’t express YOUR PART of the MUTUAL attraction.
Passivity isn’t a virtue, it’s a prison.
Relationships are reciprocal from moment zero.
Engage, live, pursue.