#129: Do not lean against a hot car in your bathing suit. It will hurt.
#237: Obesity is still a problem in America. Do not let your guard down.
#284: Public bathrooms are disgusting. In public pool bathrooms, the disgust is simply chlorinated.
#382: Sometimes, the smallest kid will make the biggest splash.
#403: Teenagers should not be let loose in any public space half-dressed and fully hormonal.
#431: You cannot hold your breath as long as you think you can hold your breath.
#440: Your cannonball doesn’t really resemble a ball of any kind, cannon or otherwise.
#453: Many wear bikinis, but only a few should.
#454: Pregnant women are among those who should not.
#487: The blue waterslide goes faster than the green waterslide.
#500: Always wear sunscreen. You are never too good to lather on some sunscreen.
#501: You will get burned.