A portion of my 2015 goals read “pursue a few opportunities that will allow me to compensate my time online.”
I have been pursuing such opportunities.
And it’s been totally stressing me out.
Building a blog that attracts brands. Applying to ad networks. Signing up for affiliate programs, and trying to include affiliate links without being too sleazy. Growing a social media presence.
It was starting to get way too strivey.
Over the weekend, I shared these struggles with my husband, my sounding board. (Because he is super gracious to patiently listen to my #bloggerprobs.)
My concerns boiled down to the fact that I feel blogging is an indulgence. To pour lots of time and thought and resources and prayer into this blog, without it making any sort of difference to our family’s bottom line, felt irresponsible. After all, we pour time and thought and resources and prayer into jobs. Jobs that make money and put food on the table. Could I truly run a blog, without expecting a return on the investment?
“God has given you a platform, babe. That’s a gift. I’m not worried about what you’re investing into the blog. Don’t stress. Just write.” Ben said.
(DID I MENTION HE’S A FLIPPING AMAZING HUSBAND!?!??)
And with that, the burden fell away.
Not only have I married a man who likes to see his wife flourish in her giftings, I also feel freedom to pursue those gifts.
It is with a lighter heart that I writing this post, and the ones to come. I honestly don’t think pursuing an income online is wrong (I think it’s fabulous!) It’s just that for me, on this blog, it isn’t a good fit. And I am more than okay with that. I’m delighted to be able to write. That I have the margin to do so. That my words help others, even in a small way.
What if I start viewing blogging as a kind of ministry? My ministry of words.
That feels way less strivey. Much more surrendered. And that’s a place I want to be.