Dear Mama,

Could we trade war stories?

Last night, the fighting on my front reached a fever pitch. In the thick of it, I sent up a  flare signal:

“I don’t usually post updates like this, but would y’all please pray for Carson, Ben, and I? She has been inconsolable tonight, screaming and crying like nobody’s business. It’s painful for everyone. Tonight has been a very dark one for me, there’s a spiritual battle raging. If you would, please pray for peace and rest for all of us.”

My sweet girl wasn’t to blame. She couldn’t help her tired body or her aching stomach. But as her cries grew more frantic, I felt myself losing patience. Losing gentleness. Losing grace. Losing ground.

The Enemy’s war cry was deafening:

Doesn’t this just infuriate you? Why would God put you in this position? What kind of mother are you? You can’t even comfort your little girl. You are helpless to calm her cries. You’re getting angry at an 8 month old. And you thought you were becoming a godly mom. Just look at you. Be selfish. Be self-entitled. You can’t handle this challenge. If only you could live your life without anyone else in your way. You would be so much happier. You would be so much better off. What a mess you’ve gotten yourself into.

From the Trenches, With LoveHe snarled those threats in my ear, and worse.

My soul was in his sights. Shots were fired. Bombs exploded. I was caught in the crosshairs. It looked like the devil’s work. It smelled like sulfur.

 

You see, motherhood has been making me more like Jesus. And I don’t think Satan is happy with it. This spiritual oppression (is there another word?), my husband says, is not a sign that I’m failing at motherhood. It’s a sign that I’m succeeding as a Christian.

So many comrades-in-arms came around me with sweet, refreshing encouragement in the midst of the fray. Bandaging the shrapnel wounds to my heart. Have you ever received a prayer text? They are wonderful blessings of the digital age. One sweet friend prayed these words over me from hundreds of miles away, “God in the midst of this, would we be reminded of how often we, as your children, run screaming and crying to you, unable to be consoled. I pray Father that you would shine amongst the darkness.”

Yes, Lord. Yes and Amen.

When you are tempted to despair that the Enemy has won, unveil your face. Behold the Lord. (2 Corinthians 3:18) “In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” (Romans 8:37)

Solider on, battle buddy, solider on.

From the trenches, with love.

Victoria

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